Best Gay Night Ever
by Jennie-x
Summary: Crack.Fic. Ianto's exboyfriend needs help to plan a gay night and calls Ianto. The team go and they find out a lot about Ianto. Jack/Ianto.


**Seriously this is a really random piece of fluff I wrote. No plot, just lots of funny scenes. I was extremely hyper when I wrote this :D **

"Karaoke?" Ianto exclaimed loudly, everyone in the hub turned to look at him. He had answered his phone two minutes previous, and they all wondered who he was talking to, especially Jack, as they were all under the illusion that Ianto didn't have a life outside of Torchwood. "I don't mean to burst your bubble, but all gay men do not like Karaoke!" Gwen looked up at Jack who was trying his best not to laugh. "I'm not gay." Ianto chuckled. "Labels are overrated." Jack smiled proudly at Ianto who was sat at his desk, typing a report as he spoke on the phone. "Why are you doing a gay night anyway?"

Gwen, Owen and Toshiko all looked up at Jack, "Who is he talking to?" Toshiko asked. She hadn't seen her friend smile that much when it didn't involve Jack.

"You want to see if you can pull? At a gay night?" Ianto rolled his eyes dramatically and started laughing. "No I didn't roll my eyes at you."

"Liar!" Jack laughed, Ianto turned around and smiled.

"It was Jack. But back to more pressing matters at hand. You want me to help you organise a gay night?" Jack and Owen burst out laughing. "Why is that so funny?" Ianto asked.

"You're like the least gayest person I know." Owen laughed.

"Hello? I'm fucking the boss who last time I checked was a man!" Ianto laughed. "You wasn't meant to hear that." Ianto laughed down the phone. "Anyway. If you want me to help, no Karaoke... Female strippers? Is it a lesbian night because you know..."

"Ianto Jones is doing a gay night." Gwen laughed.

"Balloons? What are you throwing a children's party? Next thing you're going to have a clown who makes balloon dildos." Ianto replied dryly. "You've already handed out flyers mate you're fucking fucked."

The team exchanged looks, Ianto never swore like that not in friendly conversation anyway. "If I get a free minute at work, I'll help okay. But no promises... and no I am not phoning all my gay friends... I don't talk to Dai any more... Steve he's the reason I don't speak to Dai." Ianto laughed, but there was a little bit of pain behind the laughter. "Don't worry. Look just phone for some strippers or something, unlike you I have actually got work to do." Ianto ended the call and burst out laughing.

"So Mr Jones. Are we invited to your gay night?" Jack grinned.

"First of all, I am not throwing a gay night. And second of all, don't talk to me with your bedroom voice in the hub." Ianto smirked. "And thirdly, you may come. If you give me the day off to help rescue Chris from the shit he has landed himself in."

"Chris an ex boyfriend?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, but we've always been friends." Ianto said honestly.

"Wait you still talk to your ex boyfriends?" Owen asked. "Doesn't it get awkward?"

"Nope." Ianto replied.

"Do we all get to come to the gay night?" Gwen grinned.

"Sure." Ianto shrugged.

"Go and plan your big gay night, and text me the time and place to meet you." Jack smiled, he placed a soft kiss on Ianto's cheek and walked upstairs to his office.

It had been three hours since Ianto left the office, and Jack was missing him already. Their relationship had become such a constant thing everyday that Jack found when he was apart from Ianto he missed him too much. Feeling lonely in his office, Jack walked downstairs and sat at his lovers desk.

"I can't believe Mr Straight and narrow is throwing a gay night." Gwen chuckled. "And I can't believe he is helping an ex." She added. It was no secret that she had become quite jealous of his and Jack's relationship.

"They're just friends," Owen said glaring at Gwen.

"But he seemed really happy talking to him." Jack's voice shocked them, none of them would have pictured their Captain as the jealous type.

"They're just friends, Jack." Toshiko said. Jack's phone started to ring, and he grinned. It was Ianto.

"Put it on loudspeaker." Owen chirped. "He's funny when he's bitching on the phone." Nodding, Jack answered and pressed speaker.

"Hey," Jack smiled.

"Jack, you're on speaker by the way. But as like the gayest person I know..."

"What about me?" A voice filled the line and the Torchwood team all exchanged looks.

"Chris be quiet, I'm doing you a favour I'd much rather be..."

"Fucking the boss?" Chris laughed.

"Yes. Anyway." Jack could tell that Ianto was rolling his eyes and he couldn't help but smile. "Could you please tell Chris that most gay people do not like the colour pink and that they all don't sing karaoke and when they do it isn't always backstreet boys!"

"Sorry Chris, but he's right." Jack chuckled.

"Oh My god. He has such a sexy voice." Chris laughed.

"Hey!" Ianto shouted. "Go blow some balloons up,"

"But you were always better at blowing..." Jack couldn't help but laugh at Chris' comment.

"Jealousy doesn't suit you Chris," Ianto smirked. "Save texting you be at the Mermaids Pearl at about eight. That's if you're not too busy..."

"We'll be there." Gwen said. She could tell with Chris there that this was going to be an interesting night.

The rest of the day went extremely slow, at eight Jack had told everyone to go home and change into their pulling outfits, he had even told Gwen to bring Rhys. Jack met them outside the club, and he smiled when he saw how many people were around the club, loud music encouraging them to come in.

Jack walked in and watched with a smile as gay men and women danced together without a care in the world. "There's Yan." Toshiko smiled, she pointed to the bar where he was laughing with another guy. "He looks..."

"Hot!" Jack grinned. Ianto was wearing what Jack had described as the rent boy outfit. Tight jeans, studded belt, a tight fitting white tee, and converses. "I'm so having that," Jack grinned. They all made there way to the bar, Rhys a little bit nervous at being in a gay bar.

"Hey," Gwen smiled.

"Hey." Ianto grinned. "Guys, this is Chris." Ianto smiled. Jack couldn't believe how attractive Chris was. Blond hair, with brown streaks, amazing green eyes. He was wearing a top that said staff, and tight trousers and converses. "Jack, mouth. Close." Ianto smirked. Jack shut his mouth and smiled at Ianto. "Rhys, nice of you to come." Ianto smiled. Chris eyed them all up, and smiled at each of them.

"I'll go get you drinks." Chris smiled. "Give me a hand mate?" Ianto rolled his eyes, and kissed Jack roughly.

"You know you could hire a fucking bartender." Ianto said as they walked across the bar.

"This place is amazing," Toshiko smiled brightly. Ianto walked over to them, a tray of drinks and a small smile on his lips.

"Where'd Chris go?" Gwen asked.

"Talking to some guy," Ianto laughed. "I've saved us a table." Ianto pointed to what looked to be a 'VIP' area.

"I'm impressed." Owen grinned.

"You'll be even more impressed when you realise you can drink as much as you like for free," Ianto smiled, sitting next to Jack.

"Definitely got me impressed." Rhys smiled. Gwen smiled and took a sip of her own drink.

"Why are all the drinks pink?" Toshiko laughed.

"Chris." Ianto said dryly.

"What about me?" Chris asked from behind them.

"She wanted to know why the drinks where pink," Ianto smiled. Chris sat on the other side of Ianto. And for once Jack felt a little jealous. Ianto was cushioned between the ex boyfriend and the present boyfriend and he didn't seem awkward.

"Gays like pink." Chris chirped.

"You told me you hated the colour pink." Ianto pointed out.

"Well when you suggested I painted our room pink," Chris laughed.

"Your room?" Gwen asked. "As in both of yours?"

"We lived together." Chris answered. "Good days right."

"If you call being unemployed and living with a guy who can actually sleep through a nuclear explosion, yeah it was great." Ianto laughed.

"See your still as sarcastic as ever," Chris grinned. Ianto smiled and then turned to face Jack.

"Want to dance?" He smiled.

"You said you would dance with me!" Chris pouted.

"Too bad," Ianto laughed, he pushed Jack out of the seat smiling, and they headed towards the dance floor.

"I have never seen tea boy act like that." Owen grinned.

"Tea boy?" Chris asked.

"Just a nickname." Owen smiled. "So you and him were close?"

"More than close." Chris laughed.

"He's never mentioned that he's lived with someone." Gwen said.

"His parents chucked him out when he was fourteen, he lived with me and my parents for two years then we got our own flat, that lasted a year."

"You were together for three years?" Toshiko asked. She watched as Jack and Ianto danced, and she couldn't help but smile. Away from the hub and suits, Ianto was a completely different person.

"On and off for about four. But we were best friends, so no matter when we split up we stayed close." Chris explained. "But he seems happy with Jack."

"He is." Owen grinned. "Toshiko car to dance?" Toshiko nodded and they headed to the dance floor just as a laughing Jack and Ianto came back to the table.

"You two enjoying yourselves?" Chris smiled.

"Yeah." Ianto smiled back. "I forgot how fun gay nights can be."

"You were always good at throwing parties though," Chris said. "Why I phoned you to help."

"And here I thought it was because you wanted an excuse to call." Ianto laughed, he was absent mindedly playing with Jacks fingers on the table. "And by the way, the strippers are ready."

"You really hired strippers?" Gwen asked.

"Course." Ianto laughed. "And by the way, don't think I didn't notice you watching them apply their grease." Ianto said looking at Chris.

"Always more fun putting on though hey Ianto." Chris winked. "I'm going to make sure everything is okay at the bar." When Chris walked away Jack pulled his hand away from Ianto's and Gwen and Rhys watched Jack glare at Ianto.

"What?" Ianto asked.

"You're flirting with him. Right in front of me!" Jack said. His eyes full of hurt and anger. Ianto stared at him.

"You fucking hypocrite." Ianto said and pushed past Jack and walked away.

"What's going on?" Owen asked as he watched Ianto storm away.

"Ianto was shamelessly flirting with Chris, right in front of Jack." Gwen said sympathetically, her eyes burning into Jack, not caring that her husband was sat next to her.

"What are you doing standing on your own?" Chris asked as he watched Ianto stare at the stage, where the DJ was talking to the crowd. Ianto turned around and smiled.

"Doesn't matter." Ianto said, he looked over at Jack who was watching him eagerly. "Care for that dance?" Grinning Chris grabbed Ianto's hands and twirled him around.

"See he's doing it again." Jack moaned as he watched Ianto and Chris dance to a rather slow song.

"They're just friends, I bet if you hadn't accused him of practically cheating on you he would be sat there with you." Owen pointed out.

"And considering you flirt with everything that moves, always in front of him. You getting mad at him when he never gets mad at you is just horrible." Toshiko sighed.

"I do not flirt with everyone!" Jack argued.

"You do." Owen and Toshiko chorused.

"Oh stripper time." Chris laughed. "Come on, time to go sit with your friends."

"You go, I'll go get some more drinks." Ianto smiled and headed to the bar.

"Where's Yan?" Owen asked.

"Getting some drinks." Chris smiled. "Stripper time."

"So you got a boyfriend?" Jack asked Chris.

"Yeah." Chris smiled, just as Ianto walked back up. Jack moved over, and Ianto sat on the edge opposite Chris.

"So what's your boyfriend like?" Toshiko smiled.

"You have a boyfriend?" Ianto asked looking up at Chris.

"Erm. Yeah." Chris mumbled, not meeting Ianto's eyes. "It's Gareth. We've been together now for about a year." Ianto didn't look up, he just turned his attention to the stage where the strippers were now...stripping.

Half way through the performance, Ianto got up saying he needed the toilet, but headed in the direction of the bar. "Who's Gareth?" Toshiko asked. They had all spotted the change in Ianto at the mention of his name.

"Some one from his past," Chris said sadly. "Strippers are hot."

"Yeah, they are." Jack mumbled, but his eyes weren't on the strippers instead they were on Ianto who was at the bar. Just as the performance finished, Ianto walked a little drunkenly back to the table.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Chris said as Ianto sat down. "I was going to but we were having fun again..."

"Look you can do what you want." Ianto said, though his eyes showed that he didn't really mean it. He turned his attention to Jack, "I hope you paid attention to the strippers, Jack. I'm expecting a private show when we get in."

"Likewise Mr Jones." Jack purred.

"Ianto, please don't be like this." Chris said.

"I'm not being like anything." Ianto stated, "You're with Gareth well done. What you've always wanted right."

"That's not fair!" Chris argued, Ianto just rolled his eyes. "You're drunk."

"Free bar." Ianto smirked. "If you didn't want people to drink maybe you should have put a price up,"

"You're being a child." Chris said flatly. Ianto just shrugged.

"Sorry but what exactly is going on?" Owen laughed. Chris and Ianto both glared at him.

"Gareth was Ianto's first boyfriend." Chris said. Ianto tensed a little, but only Jack noticed.

"If you're going to relive my heart ache I'm going to get a drink." Ianto said and walked off.

"You're with his ex?" Toshiko asked. "Isn't there like a rule between friends you know..."

"Not to sleep with best friends ex." Chris laughed. "There is. But I was in love with Gareth before I knew Yan."

"So what happened?" Jack asked, he was keeping an eye on Ianto who was at the bar.

"Me and Gareth were friends, and he introduced Ianto to me. And there was just something wrong in that relationship. Ianto was way too young for him, and he wasn't a really nice guy. Gareth was the reason Ianto got chucked out and disowned, and when he did Gareth just left him. We'd grown close so he moved in with me and my parents. But then me and Ianto started going out and got really close we both forgot about Gareth, until he came back. And I cheated on Ianto with him. Ianto was heart broken, and left."

"Wait, you said he was fourteen when he moved in with you," Toshiko said. "So this Gareth hurt him when he was just a kid."

"Pretty much. When he left, I hated Gareth and we broke up. I looked every where for Ianto, but he was gone. Then one night mum told me she had gotten a letter from him, five hundred pound in it, telling her it was for putting up with him for so long, saying he got a job, a girlfriend and that he was happy in London." The team all looked a little guilty at that part, remembering Lisa always made them feel slightly guilty. "Mum tried to send the money back, she liked Ianto a lot. He moved back to Cardiff a couple years later, came home to my mum stayed there till he got himself a house. I was away when he came back. We sort of got back in touch, but I was already with Gareth. He was heartbroken about his girlfriend I didn't really want to rub it in. Then we got close again and I always figured if he found out, he'd be upset. I was right."

"It's weird, I always thought Ianto hadn't slept with a guy before Jack," Toshiko said, just then Ianto walked back up.

"I know you're mad..."

"I'm not." Ianto sighed, he sat down practically on top of Jack and smiled. "Just you know. I told you everything."

"I told you most of it." Chris smiled. "I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven." Ianto smiled.

"He's changed you know..."

"Good." Ianto said interrupting him. "You need to pay the strippers."

"Didn't you do that?" Chris laughed.

"You didn't give me the money to pay the strippers," Ianto pointed out. Chris smiled before heading backstage. "Idiot." Ianto mumbled.

"For not paying the strippers or going out with this Gareth?" Gwen asked.

"Both." Ianto shrugged.

"You Mr Jones are drunk!" Jack laughed.

"And you're not." Ianto pouted. "No drunken shag for you then."

"But..."

"Nope." Ianto laughed. "So other than the recent dramatics has this been a good gay night?"

"Definitely." Owen slurred, he had been getting slightly drunk as well. "Free bar."

"Love the free bar." Rhys grinned.

"Actually, it wasn't quite free. But Chris owes me for doing this." Ianto smirked.

"Ianto, Ianto Jones?" Ianto looked up at the familiar voice, and immediately grabbed hold of Jack's hand under the table. "What are you doing here?"

"I helped organise it." Ianto replied nervously.

"So not going to introduce me?" He asked smiling at them all.

"Gareth this is, Toshiko, Gwen, Owen, Rhys and my boyfriend Jack." They all looked up at Gareth anger in all of their eyes.

"Where's Chris?" He asked looking at Ianto.

"Paying the strippers."

"You booked strippers?" Gareth asked sounding a little angry.

"Hey." Chris said from behind them, "You're late."

"Apparently, I missed the strippers." Gareth said as he wrapped his arms around Chris. "Good night?"

"Yeah, been fun." Chris smiled. "Go get a drink and come and sit." Nodding, Gareth headed to the bar. "I'm sorry, he told me he wasn't going to come when I asked you, Yan. Then text me an hour ago. I was going to tell you..."

"It's fine," Ianto smiled weakly.

"You're going to think of an excuse the minute he comes back and leave aren't you?" Chris pouted.

"Nope." Ianto grinned. "I've got to get Jack drunk so I can get a drunken shag,." Jack laughed and took a sip of his drink.

"You sure you're okay I mean we can go..."

"It's your club. I'm not fourteen any more." Ianto said. Gareth walked over, and sat next to Chris wrapping an arm around him.

"So, Ianto. Haven't seen you in what five years? You look..."

"Extremely sexy," Jack purred in his ear.

"I was going to say older."

"Not a kid any more." Ianto stated.

"You'll always be a little kid to me," Gareth smiled mockingly.

"Too bad you'll always mean nothing to me." Ianto said, and Jack couldn't help but grin. Gareth went to say something, but Owen started talking instead.

"You know. For a straight man, I'm rather enjoying this night." He grinned, "Well done tea boy."

"So that's what you do? You make tea." Gareth laughed.

"Actually, I make coffee." Ianto smirked.

"Magic coffee." Owen grinned.

"That you're going to need lots of in the morning." Ianto smiled.

"Afternoon." Owen chuckled.

"I think we're all going to be coming in late tomorrow." Gwen smiled.

"I bet Ianto will be there at dead on seven though," Jack grinned.

"He'll be there any time because he sleeps there with you." Toshiko laughed.

"Not tonight. Tonight we're going back to his place," Jack smiled. "Double bed."

"So what happened in London?" Gareth asked. "I thought you were happy there."

"I was." Ianto said sadly. "But you know, things change, and I'm happy here now."

"Good." Chris smiled.

"So do you still do drugs and stuff?" Gareth asked, he smiled at the shocked looks on his friends faces. Ianto shot him the dirtiest look Jack had ever seen him give anyone.

"No." Ianto said. "And If I remember I only did it twice because you practically forced me to."

"Gareth, lets go home yeah." Chris smiled.

"I'm not finished." Gareth said pointing to his drink. Ianto rolled his eyes. "You're just as I remember, clinging to someone stronger then..." Gareth couldn't finish his sentence as Ianto had leaned across the table and punched him hard in his jaw.

"Ianto!" Chris shouted, but there was no anger in his voice.

"I think it's time to go." Jack said, Ianto nodded and smiled apologetically at Chris who smiled back. Owen, Gwen, Toshiko and Rhys followed Jack and Ianto out of the club.

"Shit." Ianto mumbled. "Did I just..."

"Yeah." Owen laughed. "He deserved it though."

"Didn't know you had it in you." Rhys smiled. "Come on Gwen..." Gwen smiled bye to everyone and followed her husband.

"Tosh can I crash on your sofa you place is nearer and I don't feel so good..."

"Course." Toshiko smiled. "Bye guys."

"I'm sorry about tonight." Ianto mumbled. "That was not how I wanted it to end."

"Oh yeah? How did you want it to end?" Jack smiled.

"You fucking me into my mattress."

"Well the nights not over yet." Jack smiled. "I'm sorry for getting jealous."

"It's okay," Ianto said lazily as he held onto Jack.

"No it's not. Are you okay? Seeing Gareth again like that..."

"Wasn't easy. But only because I don't like the idea of Chris being with someone like that."

"What did he mean by drugs, Ianto?" Jack asked. He knew that if Ianto wasn't drunk he wouldn't be getting any answers out of him.

"He convinced me it would be a good idea to do cocaine when I was fourteen. Mum caught me threw me out. It was stupid. I only did it because I thought he would leave if I didn't he left anyway."

"I'm sorry." Jack said, he reached down and pressed a kiss to Ianto's waiting lips.

"No. I'm sorry. I mean, he was and will always the my first love and I can't change that. But you know what, seeing him tonight. I've never felt happier, because I was watching him remember me as that stupid kid, but I'm not. I mean I'm not making any sense. But I've changed and I love the person I am. Because you've made me who I am."

"Good." Jack smiled. "Come on, you're far to drunk to still have clothes on."

"And you're not drunk at all."

"I didn't want to get too drunk or I wouldn't be up to my best to give you the performance." Jack smiled.

"What are we still waiting around here for then?" Ianto grinned, and pulled Jack towards his street.

The minute Jack pushed Ianto onto the bed, he could tell Ianto was far too drunk and tired to do anything. "Sleep, I'll give you the performance tomorrow." Jack smiled, kissing Ianto on the head. Jack grinned. He snuggled close to a fully clothed Ianto. Best gay night ever.


End file.
